I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
