I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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