Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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