like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
