Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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