JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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