Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
