She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
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