yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Randomize
