when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
