I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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