Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
dude. I can hear the air.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
