Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
