He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
operation have a gay friend backfired
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
