Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
