Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
