A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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