the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
