She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
