So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
