People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
