Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
