I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
