But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
