Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
