11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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