i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
