I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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