Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
