I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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