11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
