I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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