nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
she peed on how many people?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
