Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
we're so committed to being not committed
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
