Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
please come you make the beer taste better
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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