Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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