So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I AM VODKA MAN
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I have post one night stand depression
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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