I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
