I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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