Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
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