He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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