Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I think I have vodka in my lungs
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
