there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
