did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
