He is such a slut. More and more my type.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
