He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
