FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize
