Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
