you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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