Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
