im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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