I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
